Is there an age where you become a woman officially? Or do life events determine that instead? I am 19 years old but still hesitate when referring to myself as 19 year old [young] woman.... I tend to say 19 year old girl instead. I guess that is pat o growin up and accepting yourself for who you are and what you have become? The morphesis from being a girl to becoming a woman has something to do with age, for sure.
When I was younger I always dreamed about getting out of y town and staTe ... Escape from my 'norm'. But now thy I'm older I live at home and commute to college... I have made amends with my parents, whom I had problems with growing up. I think it is all a part I'd gettin older. To me, growing older spent hage the glitz and glamour it once held. I'm scared of whAt it to come and have no idea where my life will lead me and what is to come.
Thinking of the future sure seemed tons easier when you are young and ignorant of the world you live in. I don't want to grow up anymore.. The future now means a full time job ,marriage , children .. All those things that normally girls jump the gun to grow up for. Not me not anymore. I see bow my brother is 'grown up' and has changed; I don't want that to be me who my family despises in the future. I guess the future is scary for everyone and isn't specific to an age or generation.
10 comments:
i am having more fun at 35 than i would have ever imagined possible at 19 or even 25 or 30...
i still think of myself as a girl although i feel more comfortable in my skin as a "woman" now, too.
the future has more good things than we can imagine, too!!!
When I was about 17 I worked in a shop to pay for school. Often parents would come in with their kids and say ''pay the lady'' .. Everytime it was said I wanted to scream I'M STILL A GIRL!!! :0)
I haven't really felt like a girl for a long time. I've been through so much (not more than anyone else though) and have just handled it by maturing a lot quicker.
I chose dance classes for three hours every night for the majority of my schooling years, in high school I dealt with a depressed mother and developed/learned from her an eating disorder, my best friend my junior year of high school attempted suicide and I was the only one who knew and tried to stop him and ended up calling the cops (all while ditching school to do this and having to explain myself when I returned), I got a job at a law firm the summer after graduation and promptly moved out of my parent's house, started night classes to get the best insurance rates, pay my own car insurance, purchased my own car, and soooo much more. And yet I'm still not old enough to drink.
I know what you feel because my world, too, feels so strange. And I can't decide which way I want it to go. I've never really had the freedom to be the wild child or had enough fun me time so I'm trying to take advantage at the opportunity. But part of me just wants to be the sophisticated grownup with nice clothes who attends the gym regularly.
Here's a part of my chat with a friend that might help you out.. or make you feel less alone:
Lauren: would you mind answering a question for me for my anthropology class?
Angela: no problem!
Lauren: how do you consider yourself to be "young and restless"?
as in... anxious to get to another state in your life other than the one you're in now
Angela: I would have to say that the age bracket that I fall in is a transitional period. I, personally, am not living at home, I have a permanent job, and I go to school. Although this is considered "adult" life, it is not what the majority of American adult life is spent doing.
For the majority of a person's adult life they are married, have a family, a home, and a career, not just a job.
During college students change their majors, what is it now, seven times? It's an unsure and unstable time in your life, even if you have a place to live and a job.
Lauren: are you anxious to get to THAT stage? marraige.. family... etc
marriage*
is that when you'll truly feel like an "adult"
Angela: Yes. Especially with our religious beliefs being what they are. For other people it is merely graduating college or fitting into their career or even just buying their own home.
I'm anxious for more permanent things in life, even if the economy and government cannot guarantee the permanent state of those things.
Religiously, the family and marriage is the permanent state.
20 is just as confusing! Good luck!
OMG sorry that was so long!
I think you constantly grow and change as the years go by. This year I will be 25 and I think I am finally figuring out who I really am. But...just when I figure it out I am changing again, it is a constant state and you just have to go with the flow and find out what makes you, you!
You said,"Thinking of the future sure seemed tons easier when you are young and ignorant of the world you live in."
Couldn't have said it better myself!
Being an adult is tons harder than I thought it would be. My life has turned out nothing like I thought it would when I was 15! But I honestly believe it will all be worth it in the end. :) And just because it's not what I planned out, doesn't mean it's not what is meant to be, or even better. I just have to wait and see what my hand in life gets me...
And from 19-24 (the age I am now) I changed SO MUCH! I would say that's when I have changed the most in my whole life so far. And now, at 24, I can say I feel like a real woman, and it rocks! :)
Oh! And not everyone changes for the worst... (I know you are worried because of what happened to your brother...) I honestly know I changed for the better. I was quite the handfull when I was 18-19! ;)
I know its scary but it is worth it too. Sometimes I don't even feel like an "adult" and I am married with a college degree. Growing up is hard and being an adult sometimes sucks but at the same time, I love it.
I wouldn't want to go back to being a teenager (maybe a kid though so I could have an excuse to love all the kid stuff I love now) no matter how hard adult life can be sometimes.
That being said, I totally remember feeling this way at 18, 19, 20. It is such a transition period and so hard to come to terms with all that is changing at that time.
Just hang in there and remember that you have bloggy friends who care :)
don't worry, i know exactly what you mean :) i think everyone feels this at some point in their life.
It's nice to be a girl :)
Thinking about the future is scary:P
Nice post!!
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